Mother’s Day is this weekend in the U.S., and while it’s meant to be an occasion of appreciation for some of the hardest working women in the world, it doesn’t work out that way all the time. For people who have lost mothers, or who have lost children, or have strained relationships, the holiday can be much less than wonderful.
None of the women in my books have perfect lives, and that includes Judge Willa Carson and Jordan Fox, who were teenagers when they lost their mothers.
But Mother’s Day is about so much more than a biological connection, isn’t it? It’s a celebration of female role models in our lives.
Judge Willa Carson lost her mother to cancer, which leaves her feeling rather dismal on Mother’s Day. In Wasted Justice, we find her downright glum while heading to a garden party.
“I was thirty-nine years old, but I still felt like a gawky and exposed sixteen-year-old on Mother’s Day.”
-Willa Carson, Wasted Justice
We can all relate to this feeling in one situation or another, can’t we?
But when Willa reaches the garden party, she finds she’s not alone. Her mom’s best friend, Kate Colombo, had something totally different in mind, as she so often does.
“Kate and Leo were kind enough to host a Motherless Day party. For those who have no family to share the day with.”
Kate Austin Colombo is like a mother to Willa. Kate is now Willa’s best friend, too. And the relationship is much more than casual. They share a mutual love that is familial, unconditional, exceptionally understanding, nurturing, and more. That sounds like a great mom, doesn’t it?
Do you have a female role model like this in your life?
Are you this person to someone else?
One of Willa’s favorite Herend pieces sums up Mother’s Day relationships nicely:
Herend Duck with Ducklings
Whether you’re feeling like the confident, or maybe exhausted and weather-beaten leader of the flock, or the awkward sixteen-year-old follower, I hope you’ll follow Willa Carson’s lead and find an opportunity this weekend to connect with someone in a nurturing way.
Still feeling alone? Don’t forget you’re part of a community of readers here! Click the “Comment” button below to leave a comment and I’ll be sure and get back to you. 🙂
I lost my wife of 33 yrs about 2 months ago. She was also my daughter’s mom. There is such a huge, raw hurt in our hearts. I know Mother’s Day will be tough but we’ve got each other’s backs and I know will get thru it. We’ll continue drink coffee and carry on!
My deepest sympathies, Richard. Keeping you and your family in my thoughts this weekend.
Thank you Diane. As someone who had a toxic relationship with the person who gave birth to me, Mother’s day was a horror for most of my life. Everyone telling be how prefect Mother’s were and how wonderful… When my reality was nothing like that. Having to put the socially acceptable face this time of year was hard. Nice for some one to actually acknowledge this isn’t a day of celebration for everyone.
Took me over 40 years to finally acknowledge that the healthiest thing for me was to end contact with my mother. Only wish I had done it sooner, would have had a happier life. But I was trapped by some of the Mother’s day hype. Especially hard when you also told how wonderful your mother is by people who had no idea what happen behind closed doors. Once I was able to put that aside and realize it was healthier for me without her in my life I actually started to live a happy. healthy life.
My hope is others don’t have to waste 40 years hoping that by some miracle their “mother” might actually become the kind you find on the mother’s day cards. And that they don’t have to pretend the things the cards and people who tell you. Like “God couldn’t be everywhere so he created Mother’s ” when the reality was closer to “The Devil couldn’t be everywhere so he made mothers”
Actually that last bit sounds like a book title. Evil Mother character …Looks like a sweet old lady to the outside world but to her child…..
Thanks again Diane. This is first “mother’s Day ” email I liked reading.
Alison, I’m glad you were able to find the solution that was healthiest for you. The world isn’t the perfect place greeting cards make it out to be, is it. Wishing you happiness this weekend. 🙂
Alison,
You put into words the very essence of the relationship I have with my mother. However I didn’t make the decision to cut all ties until last July. And I’m 61 years old! Feelings of guilt & worry about how others would view me kept me from making this decision years ago. I know it was the right thing for me no matter what others may think. What I feel now for her is just pity and I pray that she will be able to ask God for forgiveness before she dies.
My mother has passed. Going through some of her things, she threw nothing away of hers. Mine another story. I found a picture of her during her college years, My heart breaks when I look at that picture, because it was of a lovely happy women. Sadly someone I never knew, by the time I was born life had removed all the happiness from her.
Mother’s Day is a special day for me. While I only birthed 3 beautiful girls, I raised or helped raise5 other children. Some their whole lives some for a few years any many off and on. I am now raising a ‘grandson’ by one of these children and every other wkend get another ‘grandson’ we are all family and my own girls make me proud as they welcomed these other children with no complaints about sharing rooms or their mom with other children who sometimes needed more of my attention and love. It was hard, challenging and rewarding and I would do it all again including the financial strain and emotional drain.
Dianna, I also believe that mothers are not limited to the biological kind. You’re a very nurturing woman to take in so many children. Happy Mother’s Day x10!!!
Your comments were very very good about Mother’s day. My mother and mother-in-law are both gone.
It is nice to remember them on mother’s day.
My sympathies, Judy. Wishing you a peaceful weekend.